Vigilante Cell-Phone-in-a-Theatre Justice – Kevin Williamson vs Rude Cell Phone Talker


    You wouldn’t have your cell phone stuck to your face when you’re screwing, right?!  THEN TURN IT OFF IN THE THEATRE!


    I have an extensive background in Theatre, and any time I see an article that mentions some douche with a cell phone ruining the experience of Live Theatre for everyone around them, I have to read it.  Anyone who knows me knows I have my freaking iPhone plastered to my face or 6 inches in front of my near-sighted eyes (and I DO wonder if my arms will ever get short enough for my vision), but when you’re in the theater for some Theatre, put your damned cell phone away!

    I often wonder why more theatre companies dont just invest in a cheap DIY cell phone jammer that can be enabled and disabled with the flip of its switch.  Consequently, here’s an awesome article on Hacked Gadgets on Cell Phone Jamming for those interested.  If you can solder a DMX cable together, you can make a cell jammer.  Make sure, however, that the thing is legal in your jurusdiction — you’d hate to give the theatre cell idiots any more reason to be annoying.  Just imagine the morons with their iPhones who keep trying to get service — they’ll either put them away or leave, both of which are true theatre WINS!

    Back on point:  Theatre reviewer Kevin Williamson and his date went to see Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 at Kazino in NYC; long story short…  oh, I’ll just let Kevin tell it:

    I had a genuinely new experience at the theater tonight: I was thrown out.

    The show was Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812, which was quite good and which I recommend. The audience, on the other hand, was horrible – talking, using their phones, and making a general nuisance of themselves. It was bad enough that I seriously considered leaving during the intermission, something I’ve not done before. The main offenders were two parties of women of a certain age, the sad sort with too much makeup and too-high heels, and insufficient attention span for following a two-hour musical. But my date spoke with the theater management during the intermission, and they apologetically assured us that the situation would be remedied.

    It was not. The lady seated to my immediate right (very close quarters on bench seating) was fairly insistent about using her phone. I asked her to turn it off. She answered: “So don’t look.” I asked her whether I had missed something during the very pointed announcements to please turn off your phones, perhaps a special exemption granted for her. She suggested that I should mind my own business.

    So I minded my own business by utilizing my famously feline agility to deftly snatch the phone out of her hand and toss it across the room, where it would do no more damage. She slapped me and stormed away to seek managerial succor. Eventually, I was visited by a black-suited agent of order, who asked whether he might have a word.

    In a civilized world, I would have received a commendation of some sort. To the theater-going public of New York – nay, the the world — I say: “You’re welcome.”

    There is talk of criminal charges. I will keep you updated.

    Well Kevin, I can’t say I blame you, and it might not have been a great move to toss the moron’s cell…  but I probably would have done the same thing had my wife let me get away with something so vigilante.  I salute you.  Let’s hope you don’t get arrested for property damage.


    Here’s something awesome from the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin to their talking and texting patrons during their movies, it’s well worth the watch!

    Thanks to The Gothamist for more info on the story!

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